Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. 27. Youll feel mad and resentful. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? 4. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. I don't think you . This post was actually very helpful for me! I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. Set realistic goals. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. 0. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. I have never said to my children, I am proud of you. My reason is that thry are responsile for their successes and I shoudnt take any credit for it. I am here for the same reason. This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. 1. 1. The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. 16. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. 5. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Its my feeling that I should only express pride in something Ive accomplished. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. Granted that in many relationships, Im proud of you would strike a patronizing or otherwise false note. Thanks. Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. My ex just said the same thing to me yesterday and it just didnt sound right to me. I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. Wondering where that may be coming from. Talents Compliments. Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. Required fields are marked *. 8. A significant share of Americans (44%) say they personally know someone who has been shot, either accidentally or intentionally. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. Words have power and they can have a profound effect on us. If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. 5. "You make me so mad.". Congratulations to our dearest son. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence. Thank You. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. Thanks! They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. Based on the situation and who says this, heres a list of better responses to pick. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. Saying, Im proud of you, is a great word and its an expression from the heart. You certainly will. until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. Use words that will strengthen your relationship. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. You are using an out of date browser. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. 1. 3. But I gratuitously accepted his compliment. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. . Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. "We will always remember. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? They seem to make him quite happy. that he harrassed them or . Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. It isnt. By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. You reject that person's generosity. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. I believe you. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. If you're an ex-smoker, you can draw from your own experience of quitting. Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. PJ. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. 8. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! . 7. 1. 7. 10. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. Looking for some extra money from your parents? Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. Thanks, buddy! Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. Someone elses pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? But, the real credit goes to you and you only! I dont think there is a neutral position. 3. . To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? But this will be seen as an overreaction. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. When someone says "I'm proud of you", they are expressing their admiration and respect for you - and that can be a powerful thing.
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